Friday, 7 July 2017

The Year of Self-Confidence

July is my birthday month which tends to make me feel more reflective than usual as yet another year has gone by.  This past year has been one of the biggest and craziest years of my life and only now, whilst I am taking time to reflect, have I realised how much my self-confidence has grown and how comfortable I now feel in my own skin.  Perhaps it's just because I have matured quite a lot in the last year, or because I'm surrounded by people who I know will accept me for who I am or maybe it's just because I've finally learnt to love the body I was given.  Whatever the reason, I feel incredibly proud and uplifted that I now feel confident enough to do things that I would never have done two years ago.

Two years ago I felt so uncomfortable going bare-faced that I wouldn't even take my dog for a walk in my tiny village without make-up on.  You would never EVER catch me at school or college having a make-up free day.  I would even wear make-up whilst sitting around at home just in case we had visitors.  Yet, at some point over the past year I have began to introduce no make-up Molly into my everyday life.  In fact, there are now more days in a week where I won't wear make-up than days where I will wear make-up.  It's no longer uncommon to catch me throwing my hair up in a messy bun with a fresh face going to lectures or going shopping or going to work.  Make-up is no longer something I rely on and as a result my passion for doing make-up has grown as I no longer NEED make-up, I CHOOSE make-up.  I'm not certain whether this new found facial freedom is a result of my self-confidence growing or because it is literally impossible to wake up and do your make-up for a 9 am lecture after going out the night before.  But either way, the fact I now feel comfortable in my natural skin is such a huge achievement for me (and for my bank account).
Posting a no make-up selfie like this one is new for me
Two years ago I felt so uncomfortable about my body that fear would consume me whenever I though about walking around in a bikini on holiday.  This fear was not because my body was bad, if anything my body two years ago looked a hell of a lot better than it does now taking into account the amount of alcohol I now consume as a student and the lack of exercise I do.  However, the thought of being outside with that little clothing on and showing off that much of my skin did not feel normal to me even though everyone else around me was doing that.  If I wasn't swimming in the sea or the pool, my shorts and my vest top would be straight back on.  This year it was different - I no longer felt like I had to cover myself up.  For once I felt comfortable walking around in just my bikini and I felt comfortable led down sunbathing in just my bikini.  Of course I still have my insecurities and I still wish my thighs could be a little smaller, my bum a little more toned and my stomach a little flatter.  But for now my body IS good enough and I'm certainly not going to let my insecurities make me cover up and ruin my tan.

Two years ago I felt so uncomfortable wearing my glasses out in public that I always wore my contact lenses.  Now, I think my glasses actually look nice and I'm more than happy about wearing them out.  Two years ago I felt so uncomfortable about having small boobs that Molly without a push up bra did not exist.  Now, I have embraced the small boob life and push up bras are definitely a thing of the past.  Two years ago I felt so uncomfortable about wearing more outlandish outfits in case people judged me.  Now, I wear whatever the hell I want.  Two years ago I felt so uncomfortable wearing heels because I felt like I was taller than everyone.  Now, I love being the tallest friend and girl, I will wear my heels with PRIDE.
So yeah, this past year has definitely done wonders for my self-confidence.  Of course I still have my insecurities and I still have my flaws.  But, who doesn't?  I think if we all embraced our insecurities and flaws and made them our own we would have a world full of sassy, sexy senoritas.  I hope this post will help some of you see that your insecurities can actually be a good thing and that you are all beautiful just the way you are.  I am so excited for what the next year will bring. 
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